


What It Means To Be Tamed

by HailForTheQueen



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Fluff, Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Violence, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Violence, Smut, Yakuza
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-08 19:08:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7769620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HailForTheQueen/pseuds/HailForTheQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evicted and thrown out into a brutal winter, all Shizuo can do is wait for an opportunity. What he wasn't expecting was for that opportunity to show up in an expensive black and blue suit with a scar on their right eye and brandishing a cane. Now, 5 months later, after an almost failed job, a relation starts to bloom between employee and boss however: loving an Akwakusu-Kai Executive has many consequences. Rated M for chapter 2 and onward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Last Call, Last Resort

**Author's Note:**

> I found this prompt on the DrrrKink on LiveJournal and damn I just love uke!Shizuo, especially when he bottoms for everyone! But of course I'm too much of a free spirit to want to fill that so I'll make it my own. This story is going to mainly focus on Akabayashi/Shizuo but, he will also bottom for Shiki and some other people..? I don't know, comment your ideas!! Plus, I need to practice writing smut ;)  
>    
> So this is the original prompt:  
> "Anyone/Shizuo - inexperienced, bottoming  
> Someone gets Shizuo into bed, expecting him to use all that monstrous strength to dominate and take control, but instead he's really shy and awkward...till they start to dominate Shizuo, and he starts responding, powerfully. Squirming and moaning and begging and turning into a big ol slut - it turns out the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro is a natural at bottoming, as long as he's got a good top.  
> Would love some good fingerfucking too."  
>    
> I'd love if you showed your support by leaving kudos (it's only a click of a button) and comments, you have no idea how much that motivates me!!  
> Here goes nothing...

 

 

 

 

People say that you never really know what you have until it's gone and, as Shizuo sat on the park bench, shivering from the brutal cold of winter in Ikebukuro, he couldn't find it in himself to agree any more. If not the weak power of his radiator and his familiar lumpy bed, then the ragged blankets on his couch and the heavy duvet on his bed, he would kill for anyone of them, even the now threadbare scarf he'd gotten for Christmas so long go would provide him with enough warmth to hopefully not catch pneumonia: anything is better than nothing.

He frowns as he looks up to the clouded sky, lacking even a stray beam of sunlight as snow falls to the ground, powdered white seemingly harmless to the excited children, peering out of their living room windows, wrapped in warm pyjamas and a hot cup of hot chocolate in little palms. Not to Shizuo; to Shizuo, the snow is a threat because not even a dubbed superhuman like himself could survive long in these conditions: cold, starved and penniless.

_Yeah, that's right, not even I can survive like this for long... It's only a matter of time..._

And of course in a situation like this, it's only natural that thoughts of your demise would spread through your mind like wildfire, those sorrowful faces and unnoticed obituaries sure to appear in the newspaper.

Oh, he could see it now: **_Heiwajima Shizuo, 23, found dead in Central Park only days before Christmas, who will destroy our town now?_**

What fun would it be without humour, if only to lighten the mood, and that's assuming his death even made the paper, a death like his could easily be hushed up, taken care of before the sun rises, who wants to read about that as they sip at their coffee across from their friends and family?

So he'll wait.

Wait for something: anything - a chance, an opportunity!

But what will come first? Good karma or death?

The only thing to do is wait and find out, which is exactly what he does. Maybe not consciously but he does it any way.

_Wait... Wait.... Wait...._

"Shit!" He can't help but curse aloud after days of nothing: no food, no water, no chance. He's been sitting here for hours today and there's nothing.

Only a family with two small children walking past and holding hands, all smiles and flushed cheeks and laughter until the little girl spots Shizuo and tugs on her mother's coat. The woman looks down, still smiling but with confusion on her face as she watches the girl point to Shizuo, saying something he's too far away to hear but judging from the expressions, a guess of 'Why's that man sitting there all alone?' wouldn't to be far off as, both the woman and her partner look at each other and then towards him, casting him a worried expression and exchanging words.

It's only as she walks towards him wearing that same expression, reaching into her handbag that he realises what she's about to do: give him money.

His cheeks colour slightly from the ashen white it was as blood rushes to his cheeks from anger, embarrassment and maybe a little sorrow. He looks her directly into her eyes and growls, long, deep, throaty and overall, intimidating, menacing because remember, this is Heiwajima Shizuo, he doesn't accept charity. Proud, starving, depressed Heiwajima.

She gets the message.

He sighs and closes his eyes as she backtracks, grabs the kid's hand and rushes off with her other little boy and her husband, the only one giving him a last glance being the daughter, probably confused as to why she didn't help.

"I must say, even I was a little intimidated by that, Heiwajima-kun." The sentence is punctuated with a little chuckle. Not the annoying one that grates against his ears from the flea, this one's good natured and bordering pleasant.

But who is it?

He tenses and opens his eyes but doesn't face the stranger because nobody has ever called him 'Heiwajima-kun' in that voice.

"Now now, no need to be so cold, I only want to talk."

The sounds of shoes crunching the snow below that has formed a thick layer approaches, pausing just behind him.

Maybe it's the cold, maybe it's his hopelessness, maybe it's his hope. Whatever it is makes him turn around and face the man with a passive expression and an open mind. He's faced with a man with maroon hair, glasses and expensive looking clothes, a noticeable scar running across his closed right eye.

_Wait..._

He recognises him. But from where?

_Akane..? Something to do with Akane... Akabayashi?_

_Yakuza-!_

His eyes widened in surprise as the realisation dawned on him, a dangerous man from the Yakuza wanted to talk to him? Bad news.

Akabayashi, sensing that the blonde had remembered just who he was, leaned forward and grabbed his jaw, digging his fingers into his skin to make sure he was paying attention. He looked straight into honey coloured eyes that shone with apprehension as he opened his mouth to speak. "I have a request." His voice came out low and dangerous and the short sentence with limited information only left Shizuo's mind to wonder.

He held eye contact for a moment longer before wrenching his face from the man's hold, and glaring at him. But as a particularly strong gust of wind blew snow directly into his face, he couldn't supress the violent shiver that rippled through his body, making him momentarily close his eyes. When he reopened them, he was rewarded with a smirking Awakusu-Kai member.

"F-Fuck off..." He muttered, his teeth chattering as he turned his back on the smiling man.

"Don't act this way Heiwajima-kun, after observing you're suffering for a few days, I've come to make a beneficial offer,"

"T-Then fucking get t-to it!" He snapped, jerking his body to look at the man once again, his eyes narrowed and an enraged expression painting his face.

Instead of a snappy reply, he was granted with a warm smile and two arms raised in a defeated gesture. "Hai, hai. My apologies, I'll get to it," he said. "To put it simply, I want you to be my body guard." He paused to let the information sink in and, seeing the blonde frown slightly and furrow his eyebrows was a sign enough that he was thinking about it. "By accepting this offer, you will be given foo, shelter, clothes and just about whatever else you'll need."

_Hmm..._

A choice between dying a slow painful death and taking the man up on the offer didn't even need to be considered as he reluctantly nodded his head, his neck protesting slightly and making a dull ache radiate.

"I-I'll d-do it, just p-protection?" He asked, looking up into dark brown eyes imploringly.

"Haha! Yes, just protection, no dirty-business if that's what you're worried about."

When Shizuo had finally agreed to it with himself and stood up to face Akabayashi, he couldn't help but grin at the shaking blonde as he guided him to the waiting limo...

 

 

***** 9 Months Later *****

 

 

" _Just another job... It was just another job..._ " Shizuo whispered the mantra to himself over and over again under his breath as he sat in the back of the limo with his boss of 5 months: Akabayashi Mizuki, the man who'd saved his life. The man who he'd give his life to protect.

The man he nearly let die.

Breaking from the trance, he let the thought run wild in his mind.

_I nearly allowed him to get killed..._

The though made him snap his eyes open and locate Akabayashi. He held a grave expression as he looked through the window, watching the scenery pass.

It took everything in him to hold back the oncoming wave of tears for the umpteenth time in that single drive.

All that trust would surely go down the drain, he'd probably even get kicked out, send into the warm of May with nothing but the clothes on his back.

" _Gomen, Akabayashi-sama..._ " He said, scrunching his eyes closed to continue his mantra before anymore dreadful thoughts could enter his mind.

It was just another job.

He'd done plenty before this one; he could only hope that he'd have the chance to do plenty more.

 

_***_

 

"Shizuo, look at me when I speak to you." Akabayashi snapped, glaring at the blonde in front of him.

"Gomen, Akabayashi-sama..."

"I told you to stop calling me that!" He shouted, voice filled with rage, signs that this dangerous outburst could quickly become violent if he didn't start being more compliant.

"Gomen..." Shizuo whispered, meekly looking up to face his soon-to-be former boss.

Instead of more rage-induced shouting, he heard a soft sigh escape the older man's lips.

And then silence.

He tried to calm his jumpy nerves by looking around the place he was so familiar with. They were currently sitting opposite each other on the big, plush sofas in the living room area of Akabayashi's house -- he liked to keep things on a normal scale. He was grateful for the large coffee table separating them, at least if the redhead suddenly lashed out, he'd have a little time to prepare himself for the blow. Just the thought of it made him wince.

"I'm not going to hit you, Heiwajima-kun." It was a serious statement, his face lacking the usual smile and growing serious as he studied the younger man.

Despite what you could call reassurance, he was still wary and subconsciously backed into the couch a little more.

He couldn't supress the shocked gasp that escaped his lips when Akabayashi abruptly stood and leaned over the table, planting a delicate kiss on his lips.

Another moment of silence passed, Akabayashi staring at the blonde as the realisation of what had happened dawn and a light blush crept up his cheeks.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he whispered in a way that was more curious than angered and demanding.

"Haha, what does it look like?"

Ah. There's that smile he was starting to miss.

As a sign of submission to his boss, he closed his eyes, parting his lips slightly.

He was rewarded with another warm chuckle and hands caressing his cheek before his lips was enveloped in that heat that he'd already started to crave after their brief encounter.

After another pause, instead of feeling lips on his again, he felt light kisses being pepper across his neck, teeth gently nipping at his exposed collar bone. A tongue trailed up to his jaw, adding more kisses to his heating skin.

"Mmm. Heiwajima-kun, would you like to take this to my room?" He asked, sucking at the spot he'd bit almost as if to make up for the cursory bite, earning a quiet moan from the blonde.

Instead of using his words, he simply nodded and allowed Akabayashi to take his hand and lead him behind the bedroom door.


	2. The Water's Getting Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so inspired and I'm recreating this story!! It will become quite depressing and sad and angsty and have a lot of feels, plus, I'll add songs that I listened to for inspiration, if you listen to them when you read the chapter, I hope you'll understand it more.
> 
> I was listening to the song 'Die Trying' by Michi on repeat while writing the scenes after the smut, that's where the title comes from, it's inspired by the lyrics from the song, in fact, now that I think about it, most of this is fic is inspired by this song haha :)
> 
> P.S.   
> I know I'm not updating too frequently, this is more of a side story? But i's the most planned out one I've ever written, I have all of the chapters planned and I've started writing most of them. But when I make chapters too long, I can't be bothered to proof read and it bores me so, I spilt the chapter I was writing so I could post already. Worry not, I will complete this story by around December time.   
> This is my first time writing smut so, please don't judge me too hard XD and thank you so much for everyone who's left kudos and comments, I'm writing this for you guys!!

"I think I'm love." Akabayashi said under his breath as he marvelled at the sight on display to his eyes: A moaning and wanton Shizuo splayed out onto crisp white sheets. Eyes scrunched closed and cheeks flushed a tempting shade of deep pink as his breath came out rushed from his body's reactions to Akabayashi's arousing ministration. His body was hyper-sensitive from the amount and teasing and foreplay he'd been subjected to, fingers wondering over perk nipples and the fresh hickies placed all of his body, a sign of domination, ownership and affection resulting in the blonde writhing and begging for more.

Akabayashi chucked breathlessly as he moved in between his lover's spread legs, skimming his hands from his chest to his legs, pausing to lightly stroke his proud, dripping erection. The brief action made Shizuo buck his hips, longing for a firmer touch in which he was denied making a sound of tortured pleasure escape past his lips, the moan Aozaki was rewarded with only serving to make his own member twitch in anticipation.

"Lube..." He reminded himself under his breath, reaching for the tube laying discarded next to a mop of blonde hair. Fumbling to the get the lid off, he squeezed a generous amount onto three of his fingers, knowing it would be Shizuo's first time.

"Ready?" He asked, backing up so he could access him easier. When he saw his lover only gently nod his head, he proceeded to gently push his forefinger into the eager hole, adding a little force when he was met with the resistance of tight heat clenching down on him and a whimper as he pushed in up to his knuckle.

"Shh, it's okay," he whispered, smiling in reassurance. "Just relax a little..." As he thrust his wet finger in and out, making lewd squishing sounds which his arousal very much appreciated.

Caught up in his haze of lust, he didn't even give a warning as he pushed his index finger in with the next thrust. Shizuo couldn't supress a gasp at the stinging feeling of fingers being pressed into the small opening of his body, rubbing against the heat of sensitive flesh, the cold lube of the second finger a pleasurable contrast. The two fingers went in and out at a steady pace, twisting and curling in a way that turned him into a shivering, wanton mess, slamming his hips down in longing to meet Aozaki's thrusts and swallow his fingers.

It was the third finger that brought tears to his eyes as they eagerly stretched him open.

Sensing the blonde's sudden discomfort, Akabayashi leaned down to lick the tip of his dick before planting kisses onto his stomach and trying to soothe him. "It's just my fingers,"

"Well they aren't exactly small." Shizuo snapped, his growl cutting off as he began writhing in passion as they pressed against an un-touched bundle of nerves which caused white flashes to spark under his closed eyelids and pleasure to melt him.

"They're nothing compared to what's to come." Akabayashi said, his voice deep and provocative with the promise of oncoming pleasure. He thrust his fingers in and out of the tight, wet heat with a newfound pace only fuelled by his partners needy moans for more.

"More! Akabayashi-sama, I can't take it anymore, please give me more!"

Akabayashi chuckled at that and, even though he'd love to stay there and tease the blonde until he was nothing more than a horny, begging whore at the mercy of his hand, even he had to admit that it was starting to affect him and if he didn't hurry up and start to fuck Shizuo, he'd be the one moaning for release the loudest.

"Okay, if that's what you want," he said, eyeing his partner before pouring lube onto his erection, unfazed by the coolness as he rubbed himself up and down, smiling as the blonde watched him with lustful eyes.

Without a word, he moved closer in between the pale thighs, lining himself up with the stretched entrance before slowly pushing himself in. He only got up to the head of his erection before he paused, looking down in concern as a pained whimper spilled from Shizuo's pink lips.

"Hurts?" He asked soothingly, gently rubbing one of Shizuo's thighs when he nodded in reply. "I know, but it'll feel good afterwards, trust me." He said before going back to gripping his hips and forcing himself into the blonde's ass, going deeper past the resistance of the sensitive flesh, stopping a little over half way. He pulled out slowly and added a little more lube before entering once more, determined to only stop when he was fully inside. However, a few inches from the base, as he was still pressing in, Shizuo sharply jerked away, flinching as a sharp stabbing pain pierced through him.

"What's wrong?" Akabayashi asked in concern, left in a state of confusion and worry after the abrupt reaction.

"Y-You're too big..." Shizuo said, whimpering quietly as if to punctuate and prove the statement.

Ah, that's it. Akabayashi was a lot bigger than many men his age, especially compared to Shizuo and since it was his first time, he would have to endure more pain than other virgins as his partner was so much bigger than what would be comfortable for a first.

"I'll be careful," he said breathlessly, moving one hand from Shizuo's hip to the spot on his erection where he'd had to stop pushing in, a mark to remind himself how much the blonde could take in right now.

With that in mind, he smiled gently for reassurance before pulling out and sliding back in, stopping when his fingers met a pale ass.

"Better?" he asked.

When he was given a slight nod, he continued at his slow pace, relishing the way Shizuo's heat clenched down around him, trying to adjust to the large foreign intruder. Beads of sweat rolled down Akabayashi's back and forehead as he continued in his careful pace, sighing in pleasure at the slick entrance he was pounding into. However, upon hearing the varying sounds that escaped past Shizuo's lips start to become louder, he realised they weren't ones of pleasure.

"It feels weird," he said, clenching his eyes shut and grabbing fistfuls of the white sheets next to his head as he squirmed under his partner. His ass felt like it was filled to the brim with an uncomfortable heat constantly moving in and out, no pain although, no pleasure.

Akabayashi frowned before deciding to change their position. Still half-sheathed inside of Shizuo who occasionally clamped down around him, he removed both legs from his shoulders, instead gripping his ankles and moving them further apart until his lover was spread as far as possible. He resumed his thrusting, aiming slightly above where he was before however, careful not to push too far in as the newer angle allowed deeper penetration.

As Akabayashi searched for the spot he had found with his fingers, Shizuo lay on his back, sweat running down his forehead and teeth biting the soft flesh of his bottom lip as he endured his partners' hard erection continually pulling out and plunging in. It was as he was considering asking Akabayashi to stop did he feel his member hit a spot that had his hips pushing against him and his toes curling, a surprised gasp escaping his lips.

"Found it." Akabayashi said, starting a faster pace as he thrust into his lover with new-found lust.

When the executive hit that spot again, with even more force, he couldn't help but cry out and ask for more, his hips bucking down to meet the thrusts, slowly yet effectively taking in more of Akabayashi's arousal. His cries spilled past his lips, ranging in pitch and volume, music to the redheads ears and making a few of his own come out.

"Please, Akabayashi-sama, I need more..!" He cried out, eyes scrunched shut as wave upon wave of pleasure washed over him.

He wasn't granted a worded reply.

Akabayashi pulled out of him completely, flipping him onto his hands and knees before slamming back in without a warning. He didn't hold back as he started to furiously pound into the blonde.

God, there was just so much heat and friction Shizuo felt as if he was losing his mind in this lustful haze. Akabayashi was burying himself deeper with each thrust until the blonde was sure it was all inside of him, it felt as it was pressing into his abdomen, making room for itself in all its glory. Tears were falling from his eyes as he felt a strong arm wrap around his stomach, keeping him place as he was ruthlessly fucked and forced to take what Akabayashi was giving. He continued to brutally pound into the whimpering blonde, his sounds of pleasure amplifying the quicker his partner moved until he had all but collapsed from the over-stimulation, begging for Akabayashi to pull out of him before he went crazy.

It went on for what felt like hours put when he felt that oversized organ pull out, it only felt like it had lasted seconds.

When he wasn't moved into anther position, he looked behind him, eyes clouded with pleasure to see his seme sitting with his legs spread apart out in front of him and hands on his wet member. It was probably the confusion on his face that made Akabayashi speak up.

"Ride me." The command didn't even register in Shizuo's mind until he spoke up again. "Come over here and fucking ride me, right now or I swear to God you'll regret it."

Without a second thought, Shizuo crawled over towards his waiting partner the dark, sultry tone commanding enough without him needing to comprehend the words. He moved close enough until he could crouch over Akabayashi's crotch, facing a toned chest. He looked into a brown eye, a blush suddenly rising to his cheeks as he realised what he was about to do but the stern silence only served to push him on. Placing one hand onto a broad shoulder, he used the other to line the slick member up with his twitching hole. He clenched his eyes closed as he slowly impaled himself, moaning when he was fully seated and squeezing around his dick.

Even Akabayashi couldn't supress his groan as Shizuo sank down onto him, taking him all in.

Experimentally, the blonde pulled himself back up until only the tip was left in before dropping his ass down, their moans mixing with each other. Pleased with the results, he continued riding Akabayashi, until the man had had enough and gripped the pale hips in front of him hard enough to bruise, pushing Shizuo onto him as he thrust upwards.

"Look at this," he said, slamming the blonde down. "I told you to ride me and I'm somehow doing all of the work."

As he continued, the sight of Shizuo with his head thrown back, a trickle of drool making it's way down his jaw and moan after moan pushing past his lips.

Akabayashi dropped his hands downwards until they were resting on soft, pale mounds of flesh, spreading them apart as he pushed in deeper. Shizuo's eyes widened, a gasp of surprise slipping out. "Akabayashi-sama-!" He could feel every agonising inch of the redhead, slipping in and out of him, could feel the connection point where Akabayashi joint to him.  It was too much for the blonde as he squeezed around the dick inside of him and orgasmed onto both of their stomachs, still bouncing up and down, the sensations making Akabayashi accelerate his movements until they were messy and erratic.With one last thrust, he slammed Shizuo onto him, pushing in as deep as he would go before releasing into the tight heat, keeping the blonde still until he had finished filling him.

He wrapped his arms protectively around Shizuo, relishing in the heat he could feel radiating from him, body still buzzing from the powerful afterglow. Without a word, he lifted the his partner off of him, kissing his forehead before walking into the bathroom to clean himself and then get something to clean the blonde.

As the bathroom door clicked shut, Shizuo sighed, feeling hot liquid stream from inside him before pooling in between his legs but he was too exhausted to care. All he remembers before falling asleep were light kisses peppered across his neck and a damp cloth wiping at the sweat around his body and the come, lube and small amount of blood between his thighs.

 

*1 Month Later*

 

"I just don't think you should be working with that guy," Shizuo said, frowning as he inhaled the smoke from his burning cigarette. He'd been bickering with Akabayashi for the most part of the day since he'd heard who the next job was going to involve.

"Shizuo-kun,"

'Shizuo-kun' so informal, it made the blonde subconsciously smile each time the name rolled of off the other's lips, even at a time like this.

"I've said this before and I'll only say it once more, Aozaki-kun is a highly-ranked member of the Awakusu-Kai, I can't just ignore him." He was currently sipping at a mug of coffee, waiting for the text from his partner to tell him the limo was waiting for him, even if the 'Blue Demon' couldn't even hold a phone correctly, he always received the message without fail -- a subordinate probably doing the work with no effort most likely angering the brunette.

He smiled as he heard Shizuo mutter "You could always leave..." under his breath. The blonde knew just how ridiculous the notion was as that Akabayashi didn't need to voice it, but the fact that he'd bring up such an futile proposal showed his desperation for Akabayashi not to involve himself, even if it was him job as an executive to the organisation. Although his worries weren't without reason, it wasn't likely the meeting would cause trouble, he had done business with the man innumerable times before and nothing too bad had ever come from it.

He wasn't getting anywhere with trying to reassure the blonde with this knowledge so settled for leisurely sipping his steaming drink and smiling as he watched the blonde busy himself with trivial tasks and muttering resentful curses towards Aozaki under his breath. His affectionate gaze was cut short when he felt his phone vibrate on the counter, the message informing him the limo was outside and waiting. He grabbed the device before waking to the door and putting his shoes on, sensing the blonde was trailing behind him and putting his own pair of shoes on. A thought came to him at the last minute causing him to quickly rush into his bedroom and return to Shizuo with a pale red scarf in his hands. He wrapped it around the slightly blushing blonde, muffling his speech as it coiled around his mouth, stopping just below his nose.

"It's staring to get cold again," He simply said as he opened the door and promptly locked it behind his flushed partner. "Ready?" He asked. The reluctant nod he received was enough for him to drag him towards the waiting vehicle.

"Don't worry," he said to the Shizuo as they sat in the back of the limousine, smiling before he looked down at his phone and started typing.

His unsubstantiated claims that Aozaki wanted to harm Akabayashi only seemed to grow while he stared out of the tinted window, his eyes unfocused with deep thought as Ikebukuro rushed past him.

Ikebukuro: the city he grew up in, made friends and enemies in, worked in and most sourly, almost starved and froze to death in. And all because of a pest, an antagonising, malicious flea. Just thinking of the bane of his existence was making his blood boil, his fists clenching in response to even the mere thought of Izaya. As much as he resented the man, he couldn't help but acknowledge that it was because of him that he ended up in this situation. Being able to stay by his lover's side and protect him as he went out to earn money to put food on the able and a roof over their head instead of being abandoned by his two closest friends just days after losing his ability to control his strength, his current situation was perhaps just a little more favourable.

The fact that that supposed lover was a high-ranked member of the Yakuza was just a detail in his opinion, everybody had their quirks: Akabayashi was heavily involved in a dangerous criminal organisation and Shizuo had the temper and power to accidentally kill a man with a single, well-aimed punch. It's not like he took the red-head's hand that day and expected an easy life, these were the risks he accepted the day he first took a seat in the executives' limousine and as he found himself sitting next to the very man who had started this all, he couldn't fight back the sudden wave of determination that crept through him and urged him to protect Akabayashi with his life: because he wouldn't have one without that man.

 

* * *

 

The meeting room was everything he'd expected for two rich associates, simple yet classy, brightly lit and comfortable. He eyed everything suspiciously, scrutinising every inch of the room in search of any irregularities that could turn out to be a possible threat: he was not making the same mistake he had made a month ago, just the thought of it made a shiver sliver down his spine, electing a involuntary shudder. He would no longer berate himself for the accident, he managed to take it in his stride and use it as a reminder of what would happen if he wasn't on guard at all times.

After a few more moments of looking around, he was satisfied that the room was safe, with no hidden threats so turned around and walked back to the door, eyes trained on the two men walking towards him. He focused from Akabayashi to Aozaki. He had similar coloured hair to Akabayashi, only slightly shorter. He had multiple scars running across his face which was currently poised in an all too intimidating glare. All in all, he looked pretty damn intimidating, even for Shizuo, this was probably the most threatening man he'd ever met, no guns or knives could ever compare. Adrenaline started to pump through his vein, a reaction to the danger being presented before him.

Aozaki moved closer, nodding his head and smiling as walked past and into the room. Smiling? No, that wasn't a smile, it was too ... to be a real smile, he had to take a step to the side to avoid being in close contact with the man, even if it seemed rude.

"Relax, Shizuo-kun. The meeting should be over within an hour, just wait out here and be on guard." Aozaki said, resting a hand on his shoulder and forcing him to meet sincere brown eyes.

He wasn't entirely sure why however, just hearing Akabayashi say his name always managed to quieten his nerves, if only slightly and temporarily, his heartbeat seemed to beat faster for a completely different reason, a nervous smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Hai." He whispered, allowing him to ruffle his blonde locks before entering the room  and closing the door.

He breathed out a sigh and closed his eyes in defeat. Moving to lean his back and head against the door, his hands shoved into his pockets as his fingers itched for the comforting feeling of a burning cigarette. If anything happened in there, he knows that he'd never forgive himself, hell, the most of the Yakuza would never forgive him which left a feeling of uneasiness in him as he worried over the safety of his lover and his own self. Akabayashi gone meant not only a shattered heart, it also meant starvation, homelessness and a life of poverty which he'd more than welcome after being the reason he was killed. Just the thought of being out on the streets, exposed and lonely, the warmth of a loved one holding him stolen made his heart ache.

It's times like that he doubts the path he chose, maybe taking  Akabayashi's hand wasn't such a bright idea. He doesn't fully understand what he does but, being with the Yakuza definitely can't be good, right? Though, the way that he treats Shizuo so delicately, ghosts his fingers over him as if too much pressure may crack him, as though he's a fire and Shizuo's a fragile glass ornament, giving to much of himself will shatter him... How can an evil man find it in himself to be so careful? To be so loving and attentive as if it's intertwines in his nature.

No! He berated himself, only a while ago had he been willing to blindly give his life to Akabayashi, and he still would. No doubts could deter his devotion and loyalty however sometimes he couldn't help but wonder how he ever came to be so out of his depth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter:  
> Every meeting with this man was the same. They'd sit across from each other on the brown leather sofas in the bright, artificial light and discuss a plan on how to control a certain area or certain group: this meeting was no exception, or so he thought.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love if you showed your support by leaving kudos (it's only a click of a button) and comments, you have no idea how much that motivates me!!  
> Next chapter should be out somewhere near the end of next week with your motivation!!!


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